K's Adventures: Achchiamma Died Today :(

Achchiamma January 2012

Oct 5th: I was at Chuki's house when Thaththo called about 8:00 am to let me know that Achchiamma had died earlier that day (about noon Sri Lanka time). What a bummer! A big bummer!! At first I felt very sorry for myself - I had painted a picture in my head of how I would celebrate New Year's with Achchiamma when I visited Sri Lanka this April. But, really, she was 2 months shy of 98 years old, she was not sick, she was living in her own home (with a lady to assist her), so... it was all good - as good as a sad event like death could be. We hear she laid down in bed because she was a bit tired and then just died - no pain, no drama, no nothing.

She was the matriarch of a clan of about 500 people. I would expect the funeral will be attended by about 1000 people - I can't imagine the traffic jam on the road to the cemetery!! It is a good thing the funeral is at 1:00 pm on Sunday and not at 5:00 pm on a week day, during ffice traffic!

One of my oldest memories of her is from when I was about 4 years old, her stretching a piece of fabric across an embroidery frame and teaching me embroidery - I think Ammi still has that first masterpiece of mine!

My love for rhubarb came from her - she made rhubarb sauce for us and this was a special treat because rhubarb was expensive in Sri Lanka (cold weather crop). Also, my love for avocado with cream and sugar, coconut biscuits, puhul dosi (poked by hand with hair pins!), milk toffee with caju, pie (cassarole), cutlets/patis.

Achchiamma October 2002

She always dressed regally, carried herself with composure and authority (yes, she was very bossy!), kept her house spotlessly with an army of "servants", put on grand multi course dinner parties with matching, hand embroidered place mats and exquisite china and silverware.

She had this concept that a "lady" should never leave the house without appropriate jewelry - earrings, wrist watch, gold bangles, gold necklace. She was never happy with my clothing choices!

Having grown up during times of severe shortages she always had to have 5 pounds of sugar, 10 pounds of flour, and a large amount of rice in the house as a safety stock. That could never be touched. We would have 5 pounds of sugar in the safety stock, but still drink tea without sugar until the stock was replenished - no dipping in to the safety stock!

These are some of my happier and quirkier memories of her from my childhood.

We dropped by the temple in Turner for a little while... took some flowers. The prayer that goes with the flowers is "Poojemi buddang kusumena nena..." - the general meaning being... these flowers are beautiful and fragrant, but in time they shrivel up and die, and so will our bodies. It is a meditation on how nothing lasts for ever, and that death is part of life.

There was a spontaneous gathering at Lokka's house at night - the immediate family gathered as well as Ma' and La. We did what we always do at family gatherings, ate good food (Thaththo, Chuki and I cooked rice and curries; Seleste, Rattana and Lokka did a Costco run for sweet wine and desserts), and we talked until late into the night. Hajik, we missed you - we will see you when you are back in town.

Pictures from our spontaneous gathering...